Honoring Your Baby After Loss
After a loss of a child, the anniversary of your due date -- or the date of the actual loss itself – can be very challenging times. These dates can bring up many intense emotions and leave you feeling triggered and emotionally dysregulated. Some women and families choose to honor and celebrate their baby’s life. Here are some ways to memorialize and/or honor your baby.
1) Plant a tree or perennial plant. Living plants symbolize life and growth.
2) Purchase a piece of jewelry. Having a special piece of jewelry may help you feel connected and symbolically close to your baby. There are many online retailers who specialize in jewelry specifically for perinatal loss. Many of the artists have also experienced grief and can assimilate with familiar emotions.
3) Donate to a charity. Consider a charity that is specific to you and your situation. Some families choose to donate to organizations that bring awareness to specific diagnosis or general miscarriage and stillborn loss such as the March of Dimes.
4) Write a letter to your baby. Writing can be an incredibly cathartic experience. It gives you a chance to safely express all your thoughts, fears, and emotions without having to keep them locked up inside. Some women choose to write a blog to share their experience for others. The process of telling your story helps to emotionally process your experience.
5) Create something. A photobook with pictures of when you were pregnant or ultrasound pictures. Write a song or a poem. Or even choreograph a dance or engage in expressive movement, aka, a dance party. Some mothers find creative expression to be very helpful during the grief process. The experience of creativity can also provide you with a tangible piece of work to represent your baby, loss, and your experience.
6) Perform random acts of kindness. Maybe pay for the drink of the person behind you at Starbucks. Or bring flowers to a stranger. You can even leave a note explaining why you are offering an act of kindness; honoring your baby.
7) Designate a day to celebrate. Consider celebrating life and spending time with family or friends on your due date or miscarriage date. Plan a mini get-away, take a walk, or get ice cream, choose to be with those you love and who love you in return.
8) Order a memorial plaque or keepsake. Etsy is a great place to find items to honor your baby. You can personalize any information that feels special to you and display your item however you would like.
9) Name your baby. Many women find comfort and connection when they name their baby or even have a naming ceremony. Giving a name to your child helps personify and give them an identity. This can also provide closure and help with the grieving process.
There are many ways to memorialize and honor your baby. There is no right or wrong way, it is a very personal choice, only you and your family can make that choice together.