When Adoptive Placements End: Adoption Disruption & Dissolution
While the majority of adoptions are successful, some adoptions do end in disruption or dissolution. "Disruption" refers to the circumstance that occurs when an adoption process is stopped after the child is placed in an adoptive home but before the adoption is finalized legally. The term "dissolution" describes an adoption that ends after legal finalization. Both circumstances represent a life changing loss for everyone involved.
Disruption or dissolution is something that no one involved with an adoption wants to happen. In fact, several preparations have been put in place to prevent these situations. However, some adoptive families, despite years of effort and interventions, find themselves unable to remain together as a functioning family. Adoptive families most often cite lack of information about where to access services and the cost of services as the two biggest barriers to adoption success.
Additional factors relating to adoption dissolution or disruption include:
Child Factors: Older child adoption, the presence of emotional and behavioral issues, having a strong attachment to the birth mother, and being a victim of pre-adoptive child sexual abuse
Adoptive Family Factors: Being a new or matched parent rather than the child’s foster parent, lack of social support (particularly from relatives) and unrealistic expectations about the adoption process or relationship with the adopted child
Agency Factors: Inadequate or insufficient information on the child and his/her history, inadequate parental preparation, training, and support, and staffing inconsistencies
When a family seeks to dissolve an adoption, it is usually an excruciating last resort. When a family reaches this point, most have attempted all conceivable treatment and temporary placement options they can find and afford. Many have experienced financial devastation in as they pursue all avenues available to them. Parents may feel intense guilt and shame for being unable to fulfill their promise to provide a loving “forever home” for their child. For many couples, relationships suffer due to the strain. Parents relationships with other children in the home may be impacted as well.
For a disruption or dissolution to occur, parents recognize that the needs of the child in their home exceeds their capacity to meet those needs. The guidance of a professional can help parents reach a decision, begin the process of grieving, and address some of the guilt, shame, and blame that all relinquishing parents experience. The relinquishing family’s needs are often overlooked or disregarded during the dissolution process. Many times, relinquishing parents describe feeling alone and rejected by the people who once supported their adoption decision. Friends and family might abandon the family out of discomfort, uncertainty, or condemnation. If you find yourself in this situation, an adoption support group specific to families undergoing an adoption dissolution or disruption can be instrumental in healing and making connections with families having similar experiences.
Although no one has died, families who experience adoption dissolution or disruption have experienced a very real loss. Healing from these situations takes time. If needed, a mental health provider can help your family process the impact of the loss and reshape the future of your family.
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