Parenthood When Your Job Requires Travel
Work travel can be exciting and an important part of your job, but it can add extra stress to working parents and to the whole family. As with so much of parenting, the key to lowering stress is preparation. Here are some tips to make the travel easier on everyone.
Preparing Your Child(ren)
Brace yourself for tears. For some children, having a parent leave for business travel can be a very upsetting experience. This may lead to tears and pleading not to leave. This can be difficult both for children and for parents, as it can exacerbate feelings of working parent guilt.
Discuss it ahead of time. Depending on your child’s age and understanding level, talk to them about your travel ahead of time. Explain to them why it is important for you to go, where you will be going, and how long you will be gone. Explain it in a way they will understand, for example “I will be back in two sleeps” or “Just two days of school and I will be back”. Whatever you do, try not to blindside them or sneak out early in the morning, this can just create feelings of distrust.
Schedule check-in times. This is particularly important if you are traveling a long distance and will need to balance time zone differences. Try to establish a schedule ahead of time with the partner/caregiver who is home for when you will be checking in and stick to the schedule. This will help both you and your children balance sad feelings of separation, even if your child only wants to stay on the phone for a minute. Having open-ended questions during your check-ins can help your child open up to you. For example, “What was the most exciting thing that happened in school today?” This can also help prevent you from feeling the need to check in every 20 minutes, which your partner will appreciate.
Leave your presence in the home. Leaving signs of your presence around the house can ease feelings of separation for kids. This could be leaving notes under their pillows or in a lunchbox, recording a video of you reading a bedtime story, or leaving a favorite photograph of you together.
Bring home souvenirs. Souvenirs from your travels do not have to be huge, they can be as little as a $5 trinket or even a postcard. But your child may find enjoyment in having you return with a small gift for them.
Show-and-tell when you return. Spending time going over crafts or schoolwork your child created while you were gone is a great way to reconnect. You can even create a special box together, that your child keeps fun items in to share with you once you return.
Prepare Your Partner and/or Your Childcare
Help your partner. If you have a partner who will be home alone with your child during your absence, help proactively reduce stress as much as possible. Becoming a solo-caregiver can be very stressful so reducing that stress will be deeply appreciated by your partner. When possible, help with any chores you can ahead of time, such as grocery shopping, household cleaning, or stocking diaper bags.
Sort out childcare. If you were typically the parent who does drop off and/or pick up, have your backup plan ready. This may be as simple as having a partner do it instead or it may require you to lean on a family member or school peer to help. Additionally, if you will need a nanny or a babysitter discuss that ahead of time too and have a clear plan.
Plan quality time together before leaving. This is particularly important if you will be gone for an extended period. When possible, plan a date night with your partner before you leave. It does not have to be a huge ordeal, but setting aside quality time together will help you both feel better about the upcoming separation.
Preparing Yourself
Prepare milk supply. If you are currently nursing, plan well ahead of time to ensure your child has the proper amount of milk they will need while you are gone. Make sure your partner/back up caregiver knows how much milk is stocked and what the proper feeding schedule is. Additionally, bring any equipment you may need to pump while you are gone.
Let go. Business travel will be difficult on everyone, including yourself. While it is important to stay connected to your child and your partner while you are gone, you can’t lose sight of why you are traveling and lose focus of your work. Stick to your communication plan and trust your partner/back up caregiver at home to have it under control.
Prepare for your return. After a long business trip, you are most likely tired and looking forward to time to unwind and relax. Your children may have other plans when you return. They may be anxious to talk to you and tell you about what they did while you are gone. Try to spend at least 15 to 20 minutes of dedicated time with your kids when you return home. Then, if you need to, take a few minutes to yourself to shower and reset.
Work travel can be difficult for all parties involved, but proper planning and preparation can eliminate unneeded stress. Reach out to your Care Navigator for additional support and information.