Surviving the First Year
The first couple of months of any new job is hard. There is always a learning curve even if you are an expert in your field. Becoming a new parent is no different! In the first couple of months you will ask yourself many questions and feel as if you don’t have any of the answers. This is normal! You are learning on the job like every parent before you. By the end of the first year, you will look back and realize how much you have grown as a person and as a parent.
Set Realistic Parenting Goals
I set very specific expectations for myself when I had a baby. I was going to breastfeed her for the first year, make my own baby food, keep her on a strict sleep schedule and keep all screens away from her until age three. None of this happened. At a certain point, I needed formula to supplement my milk supply. I quickly gave up on making my own baby food for obvious reasons. I was able to get Josie on a good nap schedule, but she was a night owl and wanted to stay up way past my bedtime. I loved rocking her to sleep. It didn’t help her adjust to falling asleep on her own in the crib, but you know what? It was “mother daughter bonding time” and it felt WONDERFUL. Lastly, it was so nice to wake up on weekend mornings and snuggle with Baby Einstein on the television. While my first year with Josie didn’t go according to my new parent plan, every misstep can be reframed to look at the positive. Readjusting your parenting goals does not make you a failure. It makes you human.
Be Prepared for a Change in your Sleep Patterns
If you start counting your hours or start focusing on when the baby will sleep through the night, you will just make yourself miserable. Sleep when you can – whenever you can – but don’t count hours or set your expectations too high. Instead, just focus on enjoying your baby awake and asleep. After all, if you are not getting enough sleep, you won’t be able to parent effectively, so be sure to get the rest that you need. I found myself taking catnaps during the day when my daughter slept to catch up on some much needed sleep. This was more difficult to do with my second child, but I would fit naps in whenever I could. It is important to find that balance for your well-being, as well as that of your child.
Take time for you
Your mood and attitude influence your baby and parenting. So, take care of yourself and do things you love. Once you are happy and taken care of you can do so much more for your family and be in a much better mood! In order to so, remember that you were a person before becoming a parent you should make time to do things you did before. Having a baby brings so many new adventures but it’s okay to still cherish the ones you had before. Ther adventure can be:
Make the time to go on dates. This might be one of the most important tips for surviving the first year of parenthood as it helps you achieve that all-important balance in your life as a parent and a spouse or partner.
Drink coffee at your favorite coffee shop alone, or with your friends.
Go for a walk.
Secure a Village for Yourself
Whether your family or your friends are your village, or you hire one, I think having support around you during the first (or next 18) years of parenthood is crucial. Whether your village cooks, cleans, or babysits, the most important thing to get for your baby is a village. Your village will keep you afloat. They will carry you when you are tired, feed you when you are starving, and forgive you when you are unkempt and hours late. They will love your baby when you are too tired or frustrated to hold her, because you are imperfect and human and have imperfect and human failings. They will remind you who you are when you start to think your whole life is only about your kids. They will lift you up.
Parenting is About Communication.
Being a new parent is emotional, so talk about it! From the second your baby is born you are emotional. Very, very emotional. Some of it is hormonal, but the bulk is your life changing. Communicate how you are feeling, no matter how overwhelming it is or what those emotions are. Here are some tips for new parents to facilitate healthy communication:
Tell your partner what you need and how you feel.
Encourage each other with words, this can make all the difference for a new parents full of doubt.
If you can’t speak it, write it down.
Men and women alike can suffer from post partum depression. Most people are at least temporarily overwhelmed at times. Remember that these times will pass. If necessary, seek help on behalf of a spouse if you suspect that he or she may be suffering from depression.
5. When interacting with your spouse, be kind and patient. Parenting can be tough for both of you, so open communication is the key to happiness and balance. You might feel like lashing out at your partner, but they are just as much in this first year of parenting as you are, so approach with gentleness and understanding.
Cherish the Small Moments
Repeat this to yourselves every day: “My baby will never be this little again.” Babies grow. Tomorrow your baby will be older and more self-sufficient than today. In the meantime, enjoy your baby’s infancy while you can. Tomorrow she will be bigger, and she will never be this small again.
Keep your Sense of Humor
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you felt like you had to either laugh… or cry? Much of parenthood feels like that. Choose to laugh. Not only are babies sensitive to their parents’ distress, but there is simply no use crying over spilled (or spit-up) milk. If you’re having trouble finding the funny side, call a friend, who will surely help you smile over it. Today’s frustrating incident is tomorrow’s funny story – whenever everything just seems to go wrong, picture yourself telling the story at your child’s wedding, and remind yourself of how quickly this will pass!
Success is found in being willing to grow.
Gather wisdom around you. Learn from your mistakes. Stay humble. Stay open. When you know better, do better. Be a better parent tomorrow than you were today, always, everyday, as often as you can. Try things out and leave them behind shamelessly if they don't work out. Life isn't a contest or a game -- it's simply only beautifully life. Love that incredible baby.
It’s All Worth It
It’s the cliché of parenting and as a normal everyday parent I am here to tell you that it is true, it’s all worth it. All the sleepless nights, ruined outfits, missed date nights and worrying. It is worth it. That tiny human you made loves you more than you will ever know. So soak up that first year. Soak every good, bad, ugly and beautiful moment because what you learn that first year of parenting is everything! Everything you learn makes you better.
For more helpful tips visit: http://healthybabynetwork.com/articles/10-tips-for-surviving-the-first-year-of-parenthood/
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/10-true-things-about-the-first-year-of-parenthood_b_4254464
https://momlifehappylife.com/how-to-survive-the-first-year-of-parenting/
https://www.mommyshorts.com/2018/05/survive-first-year-parenting.html
11 Books to Help You Survive the First Year of Parenthood: https://www.readbrightly.com/parenting-books-for-first-year/