Family & Parenting Wellness Check In
They say parenting is the hardest job you will ever have.
We, at BenefitBump, certainly agree! Perhaps one of the hardest parts of parenting is that your role and strategies are ever-changing as your children grow. No matter what stage of parenting you are currently in, one thing remains constant: the importance of communication with those walking along the journey together. Family is an ever-evolving web that needs time and effort to keep it healthy and functional.
As a parent, fostering and preserving bonds that keep the family connected takes precedence in our role of family leader. Supporting strong bonds requires care and attention, especially when these bonds do not happen naturally, and can take intentional and concerted effort to curate. Maintaining a regular, scheduled check-in with your partner can help eliminate unnecessary stress or conflicts related to caregiving. Below are a few ideas that can easily be built into your family’s structure and routines, even at the busiest of times.
(A Note for Single Parent Households: If you are a single parent, this article can still apply. Taking time to self-reflect is still a crucial component of parenting. You may also choose to have these conversations with those in your parenting “team.” After all, the old adage is true: it takes a village to raise children!)
Communicate Your Boundaries, Wishes and Values Clearly
Clear and intentional communication is the foundation of any strong team. The value of sharing honestly with your family members should not be overlooked when it comes to caring for your parenting “team.” Asking others to share their opinions not only creates a connection, but also places value on each individuals’ thoughts in a meaningful way. When you check in with your partner, consider focusing on both strengths and weaknesses:
What is going well?
What brings us joy in our family and/or partnership right now?
Where are our children, developmentally, right now? Do any of our family habits and/or parenting strategies need to change to support our children’s current strengths and needs?
What is especially challenging for you as a parent in this moment?
What do you need from your partner or coparent to feel supported and successful at this time?
If your family unit thrives on structure, it may also be valuable to have a standard series of questions that you ask each other regularly. This resource shares questions to consider around choosing to grow your family, but could be tailored for whatever stage you are in now.
Create Meaningful Habits
Choosing to make time for each other may carry more weight than you realize. From creating engaging morning routines together, to holding family meetings, to family-based activities that can foster healthy family cultures and help cultivate and grow healthy relationships. As you discuss your family’s habits with your partner or parenting “team,” consider setting aside time for a variety of habits: self-care, time to reconnect as partners, and family time that involves the children. Here are some creative and fresh ideas for your family to explore!
Setting Realistic Expectations
Whether you are currently planning your family, in the early days of parenthood, or consider yourself a “seasoned” parent, setting realistic expectations – both of yourself and your family members – is key! Family demands an immense amount of attention and care, which can often collide with the demands of work outside of the home. As parents, many of us feel depleted, both physically and mentally. Therefore, setting realistic expectations can be a key to building healthy and manageable relationships. Prioritizing what really matters, encouraging each other to share in daily chores, and taking time to reflect on gratitude can be powerful tools to include in your family building toolkit.
When you check in with your partner or parenting “team,” consider re-evaluating current household responsibilities, outside commitments, and the ability of growing children to pitch in. What are your family’s goals for the coming year? Do any household expectations or responsibilities need to shift to accommodate your goals? Here are some other ideas on the importance of setting realistic expectations for you and your family.
Like any team, parenting and family systems require regular maintenance and fine tuning. Your BenefitBump Care Navigator is always available as a resource to talk through your family’s unique journey!
For more information about maintaining open and constructive communication as a family and parenting team, consider these articles:
How to Share the Parenting Load with Your Partner (Parents.com)
Partners in Parenting (The Center for Parenting Education)
“ Family is an ever-evolving web that needs time and effort to keep it healthy and functional. ”